Alice Hendy MBE urges people to notice sudden changes in loved ones, even ones that seem positive
Some of the most important warning signs of suicide are easy to miss because they look ordinary, or even like improvement, according to suicide prevention campaigner Alice Hendy MBE.
Hendy, who lost her brother Josh to suicide in November 2020, has spent five years working in prevention. She said bereaved families most often tell her not that they ignored the signs, but that they saw something and didn't realise what it meant.
She highlighted six less obvious signs:
- Giving away treasured possessions. Clinical guidance recognises this as a way of preparing for an absence. It is often presented as generosity, with a reason that doesn't quite add up.
- Neglecting personal hygiene. NHS guidance links this to emotional exhaustion, when everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Hendy said people often avoid raising it out of embarrassment, and suggested simply telling someone they don't seem themselves lately.
- Losing interest in appearance. Someone who always took care over how they looked suddenly stops. Hendy said her brother went from carefully styled hair to shaving his head. It is often misread as laziness, but can signal that a person no longer sees a future they will be part of.
- Saying they are happier than ever. An unexplained burst of happiness can be a warning sign.
- A sudden calm. After a period of severe depression, stillness can mean a person has made a decision, though families often take it for recovery.
- "Quiet housekeeping". Returning borrowed items, settling small debts, cancelling subscriptions or deleting accounts. Each act is ordinary, but several together in someone who hasn't bothered for years form a pattern.
Hendy stressed that none of these signs means anything on its own, and that many have ordinary explanations. They become more concerning when they are out of character, sudden, or appear alongside other distress. Research suggests 50 to 75 per cent of people considering suicide give someone a warning sign.
Her advice is to ask directly whether the person is thinking about suicide, which will not put the idea in their head, and to ask twice, as the first answer is often the one they think you want to hear. She said people should not try to fix the problem themselves, but should help the person reach support such as their GP, NHS 111 or a crisis line.
Office for National Statistics figures show 6,190 suicides were registered in England and Wales in 2024, a rate of 11.4 per 100,000. About three quarters were male, a pattern unchanged since the mid-1990s.
The logo above takes you to the website of the R;pple Campaign, Hendry started. She explains:
“I set up Ripple Suicide Prevention Charity because there was a moment, before we lost Josh, where the right thing appearing in front of him might have changed everything. Ripple technology exists to intercept people at that moment online, when they go looking for something harmful, and put support in front of them instead. Our browser-based protection (Ripple BrowserShield) is free to download on laptops and desktop computers for any individual, parent, guardian, school, college, university or charity worldwide.
But technology can only ever be part of it. The rest is people. It is you noticing that your mate has stopped shaving, it is you clocking that your sister has suddenly settled all her debts, it is you asking an awkward question at the school gates because something feels off.”
If you are struggling, or worried about someone else
Samaritans: 116 123, free, 24 hours a day, every day. Email jo@samaritans.org
Shout: text SHOUT to 85258, free, 24 hours a day
Papyrus HOPELINE247, for under 35s: 0800 068 4141
NHS 111: select the mental health option
In an emergency: call 999
